Who is assef

He was unable to control his fetish for having sex with Hazaras and Welsh people so he came up with an evil plan. He also got in a fight with fellow inmate the Tattletale Strangler and shaved off his moustache causing the Strangler to swear revenge. He rose in the ranks and became their leader.

He also captured Hassan and his family to torture them for his own amusement. One day, Assef learned that a serial killer mouse named Insane Basil was traveling around Afghanistan murdering men, women and children.

The two fought, and Assef won and strapped Insane Basil to a mouse trap. After several unsuccessful attempts to torture him, Assef left to take a shit and returned to find Insane Basil dead from setting the trap off himself.

Assef had gotten bored of raping people so he traveled to the tri-state area and snuck into Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc and stole his Hazara-And-Welsh-People-Genocide-Inator.

He then traveled the world searching for all the stones needed to activate it and along the way he made many friends who he raped later. Eventually, after several years he returned to Afghanistan and prepared to activate the machine. Just as he was about to succeed with the last stone, Amir, Hank Schrader and Ferris Bueller burst in to stop him and rescue Hassan the other members of the team were mostly either dead or injured by then.

Assef revealed his evil plan to the trio, and Hank and Ferris both attempted to stop him but he easily overpowered them in a martial art fight. He ran to activate his machine but Amir and Hassan instead challenged him to a rock off.

Assef accepted because the Taliban law says he cannot decline a rock off challenge. Assef won the rock off but the Tattletale Strangler burst in and attacked him. Assef was then beaten and raped by the Strangler. His evil plan was defeated and the Strangler avenged his moustache and also Hassan.

Assef and the Tattletale Strangler entered a homosexual relationship after the latter molested the former. The Strangler eventually got bored of molesting Assef so he divorced him and moved back to America. The Strangler died in a shootout with cops a few months later.

Assef had sex with an American woman once just to find out what straight sex felt like and got her pregnant, but dumped her after one night. Assef never met his son. However, it was pretty obvious to everyone that they were related to each other. Assef decided that his band of 27 Taliban soldiers was too weak to fight, so he fired them all so he could get a new army.

All the retarded fans immediately accepted and agreed to his declaration. Assef led his massive army of 20,, retarded-Rick and Morty fans onto the field of battle against the other armies. Rick Sanchez himself engaged his own fans in battle and slew hundreds of them.

Tamatoa's army was way better equipped and they began massacring the Rick and Morty Fans. Assef soon realized that his army was being annihilated so he abandoned them all and fled the battlefield into the nearby woods. All of his "Rick and Morty Fan"-soldiers were killed because they were too retarded to actually fight in battle.

With his retarded-army annihilated, Assef fled to the woods and decided that his last chance for victory was to resurrect Spiderus and get him to fight on his behalf.

Assef began praying to Satan and and sacrificed a goat to the Dark Lord, in order to open a gate from hell that Spiderus could walk through. However, even Satan was fed up with him at this point so he ignored him. Both children grow up with a measure of privilege, and both children hurt Hassan—a socially and economically disadvantaged Hazara—when they abuse this privilege.

As Amir fights Assef to save Sohrab, he is ultimately fighting the darkest part of himself that betrayed Hassan. Significantly, Assef does not die in the novel, insinuating that the cruelest parts of Afghanistan cannot be easily or fully extinguished. Ace your assignments with our guide to The Kite Runner! SparkTeach Teacher's Handbook.

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